The Person, Not The Formula

As a pastor and personal coach it is important to remember, when helping people, to stay focused on the person and the story that they are telling me. Sometimes, life coaches can think in terms of formulas: dream big, set goals, overcome obstacles, face challenges, work hard, etc... and forget that each person is an individual with unique strengths, challenges and weaknesses.

The personal coach has to remain attentive to the person he/she is speaking with and not rush the conversation to a formula or plan. The goal is to help the person see themselves and their situation in a new light. To help them hear back what they are saying and reflect on their problems from a new vantage point. People are often capable of solving their own problems, with a little assistance from a caring, compassionate helper.

It is important to try and "put yourself in their shoes." People do what they do for a reason. If you can understand the reason why a person is stuck, their reasoning process, then you can help them see the limits they have set on their thinking. By removing those limits, you can guide a person out of the ditches in life and back on to the freeway. Once a person realizes they have options and choices that they had not seen prior, they begin to formulate their own plan of how to solve their problems.

You can help others, if you will focus on them and their story. If you will give them some attention. If you will refuse the impulse to minimize their problem, or fix their problem or rush them to a pre-formulated, one size fits all plan. In other words, love people.